


Panic

by hi_no_senshi



Category: Seijuu Sentai Gingaman | Starbeast Squadron Gingaman
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-23
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-05 21:39:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1833193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hi_no_senshi/pseuds/hi_no_senshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The battle went well enough. Afterwards? Not so much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panic

The first time Hayate has a panic attack, Ryouma freezes. 

The others are all in bed. All the chores done. Wounds bandaged, painkillers administered, food eaten. They're all whole, or well enough, at least. Ryouma's just finishing up the dishes before bed, and Hayate's sweeping awkwardly with his one uninjured arm. While Ryouma's head still hurts, it's a dull thump under the adhesive plaster instead of the burning nausea it was when he was hit. 

There's a soft sound from behind him, and Ryouma turns, a saucepan in his hand, to see Hayate begin to shake. 

Ryouma freezes for a moment - 

He knows Hayate pretty well. They grew up together, and he never resented that Hayate was one of the chosen warriors where he himself wasn't. They've been close for a long time, even apart from the time that Hayate spent in special training that Ryouma didn't share. 

Hayate's always been solid and calm. Not flawless, no matter what Hikaru might think sometimes. Hayate screws up sometimes, just like the rest of 'em, and admits it with rueful good humour. Hayate gets stressed sometimes, but usually a training session, or a prank, or quiet words with cocoa when no one else is around, will get him to come out of it.

He hasn't done this before, though.

\- but only a moment. Hayate's important. Ryouma murmurs his name softly, and puts down the saucepan. With quick strides he's at Hayate's side, and takes the broom off him. Leans it against a ricketty little chair. 

"I'm all right." 

Total lie, fists clenched, face pale. But Ryouma knows from his attempt that he badly needs Ryouma to not freak out about _him_ freaking out. 

"I know," Ryouma says, smiling. "Come outside with me." 

Instantly, desperate. _"Don't touch me."_

Ryouma lowers his hand from where it'd grazed Hayate's shoulder, and nods. All right. So this was about claustrophobia, and control; Hayate needed very badly to not be made to do a damn thing right now. "Follow me," he says gently, moving in front of Hayate. His head responds unhelpfully by throbbing again. He ignores it. 

They move outside with slow, gentle steps. Ryouma leads Hayate to the middle of one of their fields. They're still visible from the front door, should anyone wake up and need them urgently. 

"I feel stupid." 

Ryouma casts a quick glance at his friend's - his love's - face. The tiny muscles around Hayate's jaw and eyes are still clenched, but maybe (though it could be a trick of the starlight) they're relaxing, a little. "You shouldn't. It was a crappy day, Hayate. Balban haven't hit us that hard before. You're allowed to freak out." 

He notes to himself that Hayate only did so once the others - the children - were all safely tucked away. 

He steps in front of Hayate, hands in his pockets. Hayate doesn't want to be touched. That's fine. But maybe he feels like doing the touching.

He feels hands on his waist a moment later, and he smiles.

"You could've -"

The hands slide around his waist, and then there's warmth at the side of his neck. Ryouma lifts a hand to very gently touch Hayate's cheek, just for a moment, so Hayate can keep the control that he needs. "I know," he says hoarsely, softly. "I'm sorry. But I didn't." 

"You're not allowed to." 

Ryouma grins ruefully. "Neither are you." 

"It's a deal." 

They stay outside for a long, long time. When they go back in and Ryouma heads for his own bed, Hayate yanks him into his, instead.


End file.
